Lindsay Lohan has become the ankle bracelet queen. She reportedly is wearing an ankle bracelet that monitors her sweat for any alcohol in her system. She is probably getting geared up for her soon to be required court appearance for her Dui charge in May. She will more than likely say something similar to the following, I will be happy to wear an ankle monitoring bracelet your honour, rather than spend any time in that skank Paris’s jail cell. I had a hard life your honour, my Dad is a convicted drunk, my ex boy-toy is a sex addict, mom’s a white Oprah, I’m a rich Hollywood starlet who used to drink and do drugs until the cows, Paris, Nicole, Britney, came home. But now I’m a born again virgin being exploited by some internet hacker who threatens to release nude pictures of me being naughty with a sex addict, not me your honour, I’ve never had sex in my life. Those pictures are fake, just like my acting sir. Please, please, release me, let me go home to my Hollywood pad, my swimming pool, the beautiful walks on the beach, I swear I’ll never drive drunk again, have uncontrolled sex with a sex addict, play with knives, go near white lines, or bad mouth my sweet white Oprah again sir. Clapp, clap, Hooray, give that girl the Oscar. The Hollywood good publicity train is working overtime under the hot sunny California sky these days. It failed to pull out of the station for Paris, will it chug chug along, past the jail station for Lindsay and Nicole? Only time and money and the all of a sudden goody two shoes approaches being so skilfully manipulated by Hollywood’s finest spin doctors will tell. After all, where else can you find so much fantasy. Hollywood survives on who can tell the most outrageous film story that is based on true stories that are really only truth sprinkled with liberal amounts of fiction. Fk, Lindsay, your lucky I’m not a judge.
No comments:
Post a Comment